I Want To Save You
by Trizzy
Summary: After a near fatal overdose, Camryn is visited by a familiar face she thought she'd lost forever. The more mistakes she makes, the closer she gets to them. But will it end up costing her? I really suck with these sorts of things. Sequel to CL!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Four Brothers isn't mine!_

_A/N: Well I guess it really didn't take me long to get this sequel up and running. And if I don't update for a wee bit, it's because I'm moving tomorrow and may or may not have internet. We'll see. So I hope you enjoy this story. It's all about Cammy, with a nice focus on Bobby every now and then. I like the direction I chose for her in her late teens because it works with the idea. ENJOY!_

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Chapter One: In The Arms of an Angel

Camryn sat on the couch, staring blankly ahead of her. Beads of hot perspiration squeezed through the pores of her forehead and upper lip. The heavy sweater she wore did nothing to hide her deteriorating condition, yet Lauren and Bobby didn't notice. They were gathered in the living room, immersed in a meeting with Mr. Wolfe, Camryn's principal. It was an emergency session; Mr. Wolfe had become increasingly concerned about Camryn and her school career. But she brushed the meeting aside; instead sitting on the couch with her uncle thinking of all the things she would do once she could escape the room. Everything that was said fell upon her deaf ears and no one notice her blatant lack of attention. Finally, Lauren placed a hand on her daughter's gaunt shoulder.

"Cammy, is there something going on that you aren't telling us?" she inquired, her eyes sparkling with concern.

She rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. "No, mom. And stop calling me Cammy. I'm not six anymore."

"There's obviously SOMETHING. Is it a boy at school?"

"Mom, stop pretending you care so much about what goes on in my life. We both know you only care about Bobby," she snapped.

"Don't talk to your mother like that Camryn. We just want to know why the hell you're being this way," Bobby demanded.

"Now, Mr. Mercer, I don't think this is how you should address the situation-"

"Mr. Wolfe, I appreciate you coming here and shedding light on the situation, but Camryn is a Mercer and she will be extremely difficult, just like her father," Bobby explained.

"Someone who you are not," Camryn muttered.

The room fell silent then, the air around Camryn and Bobby tensing. Camryn had never resented Bobby acting as the male influence in her life. There was an unspoken understanding that he would never try and replace Jack's short time in her life. She stared at her knees, clenching her jaw tightly and avoiding everyone's individual gaze. She knew Bobby would be masking a world of hurt, visible only through his eyes. Her mom would be watching her with open shock while her principal would merely observe the trio with concerned confusion and subtle discomfort. Camryn ran her bony, shaking fingers through her long chestnut hair and forced out a careless sigh. Bobby cleared his throat of built up tears and turned away from his troubled niece.

"Well. There you have it Mr. Wolfe," he stated quietly.

Camryn stood up, unable to stand the tension any longer. "I'm going over to Wendy's. I'll be back later."

"Call me if you change your plans honey," Lauren called out to her daughter's retreating form.

"Whatever. Bye," was her acknowledging response.

Lauren winced at the slamming of the door. "I think she's-"

"On drugs," Bobby stated bluntly.

Mr. Wolfe nodded. "I believe that to be the reason behind her recent behaviour. She's become irritable and intolerable. She talks back. Uh, more than she used to that is. When she does actually find time in her schedule to make it to class."

Bobby sighed, pinching he bridge of his nose. "Sounds like cocaine."

"Cammy is NOT on drugs Bobby. She's just-she can't be," Lauren protested.

"Laur honey, she's seventeen. She could be on anything. Have you seen some of the people she hangs out with?" Bobby inquired.

She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head. "No. No I can't lose her too. We have to help her Bobby. We have to help her because I cannot lose her."

He wrapped his arms around her, letting her sob into his chest. "We can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. We have to let her make her mistakes and come to us."

"What if her mistakes lead her to Jack? What then?" she demanded.

Bobby had no answer for her, instead letting his silence speak for him.

---

Her hands were shaking as she took the tightly bundled ball of brown powder from Wendy's outstretched hand. Wide blue orbs twinkled with hunger and desperation as they gazed upon the glory of her brand new purchase. Wendy chuckled, pocketing the money and clapping her friend on the back. Camryn looked up at Wendy, eyebrow raised high on her forehead.

"Take off that sweater Ryn. You're glistening with sweat and you look ridiculous," she instructed, marching into her kitchen.

Camryn watched the confident sway of her friend's hips, shrinking back with envy and self-doubt. "Well, Mr. Wolfe was at my place. I couldn't really parade around with fresh marks."

"What was he doing at your house?" Wendy demanded, whirling on her with paranoia painted on her face.

"Chill out Dee. It was some pathetic intervention attempt. But my mom is totally oblivious to everything that doesn't involve her sad new life with Bobby," she sneered, rubbing her arms.

The comment visible relaxed the high-strung girl. "Speaking of your uncle, do you think he knows?"

She slowly nodded. "He's the only one who hasn't spent the last seventeen years trying to replace my dad."

"So…he knows then?"

"I can't see how he wouldn't. But it's not like him to know and keep quiet. So maybe he doesn't know," she replied. "Maybe he's given up on me too."

"You know what will never give up on you? The heroin," Wendy beamed. "I, however, have to head to work. Are you cool to chill here alone?"

Camryn nodded, rolling her eyes. "I'm not a baby."

"Never said you were Ryn. I have some bow upstairs in my nightstand, if you're feeling really strung out and dangerous," she informed, blowing Camryn a kiss. "Love ya lots. I'll see you later."

"I'll be here Dee," she said, clutching the heroin tightly in her fist.

---

The explosion of ecstasy coursed through her veins and flew straight to her heart. Her pupils drowned in the seas of blue that were her eyes. She fell back on the floor, looking up at the ceiling, but not seeing it. The needle stuck out of her swollen vein, pumping its filth into her blood. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, dripping down her temples into her hair. Laughter echoed through the closed bathroom and she soon realized it was her own. She laughed because she couldn't feel her gums. She laughed because the room had suddenly become too hot. She laughed because her nose was bleeding into her mouth. Camryn laughed because she was killing herself with every line and every injection. And in a flash, she was crying. She yanked the syringe out of her arm and began to pull her shirt over her head. Her body was on fire as she stripped off her pants and lay on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. She was sobbing out of fear, hugging her frail body knowing she was overdosing.

"Cammy baby, you are not going to die."

The voice was warm and familiar, wrapping around her shivering body like the security blanket she secretly couldn't sleep without. She opened her eyes, searching for the source of the comforting, dulcet tone. Her vision clouded by the tears in her eyes, she could not find the apparent owner of the voice. With a strangled sob, she covered her eyes and succumbed to the tsunami of tears built up inside her. A cold hand on her bare stomach jolted her out of her despair and she lifted her head just high enough to glimpse her belly. But there was no hand. She was alone in the room, a victim to her drug induced illusions. And then the voice came again.

"You are a fighter baby. I love you Cammy and I know you can win this."

Something in the sentence triggered a flash of memories and identified the voice. It rose her to her elbows, a new wave of tears rimming her scared blue eyes and streaming down her colourless cheeks.

"Daddy is that you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it's been a while! I'm still sans internet on my computer, and since my USB ports crapped out, I can't move anything from computer to computer without the use of a good ol' fashioned floppy disk. So, after a long wait and I hope not the loss of my readers, here is chapter two. I'M SORRY! Please be gentle with the idea that I am working with in this chapter.**

**Chapter Two: Is This It?**

She ignored the people in the room. With her back to the world, she drowned in the forgotten music of her lost father. The hospital had been kind enough to allow her the use of a cd player, provided her roommates didn't mind. Waves of relief washed over her when the other occupant in the room turned out to be on the edge of deafness and said he didn't mind her music one bit. Bobby sat in the chair by her bed, had been for the past two hours, silently flipping through a magazine. But now that he had reached the last page, he felt up to talking to his troubled niece. As he prepared to open his mouth, the cd changed tracks, filling the room with something he least expected. And that was how he chose to open the conversation.

"What the fuck is this shit you're listening to?" he demanded, throwing the magazine down in disgust.

"It's the suite from Forrest Gump. It was dad's favourite movie," Camryn replied, keeping her back to him.

"No shit. Jackie liked Forrest Gump?" he mused. "So why are you listening to this?"

"These are old mixed cds of his I found in the attic. It's the closest I've ever been to knowing him," she sighed, brushing tears from her eyes.

Bobby whistled. "Wow Cammy. Why the sudden interest to know your father?"

"I can't really say it's sudden. I've ALWAYS wanted to know him," she growled, reaching over and switching the song and, hopefully, the topic of discussion as well.

Bobby had other plans. "Is this…Red Hot Chilli Peppers?" he inquired. "I didn't know he listened to these guys."

"From the sounds of things, you didn't know much about him did you?" she snapped.

"Not knowing that he listened to the Chilli Peppers and liked Forrest Gump doesn't mean I didn't know him," Bobby shot back, eager to defend himself.

She rolled over and sat up. "What do you want, Uncle Bobby? Because I know you didn't come here to talk about Tom Hanks or the Chilli Peppers."

He clenched his jaw and rubbed his forehead. "You have a drug problem, Camryn."

"No I don't," she whispered.

"They found you on a bathroom floor with the fucking needle still in your arm," he hissed. "It's a damn miracle you survived."

"Someone was watching over me," she stated, touching the place on her stomach where she had felt the hand.

"Who?" he demanded. "Wendy, your druggie friend who got you into this whole mess?"

Camryn pursed her lips and lay back down on her bed. "Go away Uncle Bobby. I don't want you here anymore."

"I know you don't mean that Cammy," he sighed, standing up. "Your mother and I placed you in a rehab program."

She scoffed. "Don't try and make it sound like a favour."

"You're checking in as soon as you're discharged from the hospital," he stated, scooping his magazine off the floor. "Whether you like it or not, you're doing this."

"And I can't see Wendy anymore. Blah, blah, blah," she snorted. "Why didn't my mother come and tell me all this, instead of sending her lapdog?"

"She's too disgusted to come in here and see you this way," he replied coldly. "You let her down."

He knew it was harsh, and he knew it wasn't true. But he knew she needed to hear it. She reacted-violently-to the comment by whipping the bedpan at him. It clanged against the wall next to his head, missing him by no more than an inch. Her breathing was ragged, fuelled by pure hatred for him in that moment. Bobby clenched his jaw once again and turned to leave the room. No more words were spoken between the two, probably for the best. Camryn laid back, staring at the white ceiling and losing herself in Jack's music. She wanted to scream; she wanted to sob. But as she lay there, blinking tears from her eyes, she realized that all she really wanted was to hear his voice again. She wanted to hear him tell her he loved her and she wanted to hear him say her name. But she knew she wouldn't hear it unless she had her drugs and Bobby and Lauren had made sure she'd never have those again. When the nurse entered the room, Camryn sat up, an idea already forming in her mind. Visiting hours weren't over yet and she knew just the person she wanted to see.

"I need to make a phone call," she said, sweeping her legs over the edge of the bed and placing her feet on the floor.

The nurse smiled. "Of course dear. You can hurry down the hall and use the phone in the visitor's lounge."

"Great. Thank you so much," Camryn beamed, rushing from the room.

---

He looked down in horror, willing her away from the phone. He knew exactly where her call was going and he wanted nothing more than to stop it. He had saved her life with nothing but pure luck on his side and he didn't think he had the abilities or privileges to do it again. But that didn't stop him from kicking and swearing up a storm, drawing attention not only to himself but also to the two others with him. They yawned. Clearly his tantrum was having no affect, even if they knew his intentions were right. Once he realized he was getting nowhere, he whirled on his companions, fury blazing in his pale blue eyes.

"Stop her. Stop her from doing it again," he demanded, pointing down at the young girl.

"You know I can't do that," the taller of the two replied, brushing her long auburn hair over her shoulder. "She needs to make these mistakes on her own."

"That is bullshit and you know it!" he shouted, turning back to the scene below him.

The other body stepped up to him and placed a warm, comforting hand on his shoulder. "You can be with her when the time is right. She's not ready to accept you yet."

"How do you know that? How can you be sure that she'll reject me Ava?" he inquired, not taking his eyes from the girl.

She smiled softly, hinting at the sadness lurking behind the hazel of her eyes. "You just have to trust us on this one. For once?"

He sighed, raking his fingers through his shaggy blonde hair. "I hate being so helpless to save her. What is the point of being here, watching over her, if I can't help her?"

"You'll get your chance. Right now, you need to let Bobby and Lauren take care of her in the best way they know how," Ava assured.

He turned to face the other woman. "Does it ever bother you that you can't help the ones you love Candice?"

"All the time Jack. All the time," she whispered, blinking her wide brown eyes and turning away from them. "But you learn to do what he tells you. Even if it takes you seventeen years."

He snorted. "I only do what he tells me because it gets me closer to my baby. I could do a better job of raising her than those two fuck ups ever have."

"You don't mean that. I know you still love your wife," Ava sighed, shaking her brown curls loose from their confined ponytail.

"She sold me out without a second thought. For my brother," he spat, wiping tears from his eyes.

Candice stepped in front of him and grabbed onto his shoulders. "Stop it Jack. She did not sell you out for your brother. She brought a male role model into your daughter's life, never once thinking that he would be your replacement. She still loves you and you know it. So stop being a baby about it. Stop torturing yourself by watching your daughter poison her veins with that terrible junk, and think of what you can do to save her."

Jack blinked, startled by her outburst of reasoning and logic. In the seventeen years he had known Candice, he had never expected her to be the one to snap. Ava was always the loud one. But he knew they were both right, so instead of retaliating as he usually did, he merely sighed and walked away from them, unable to stand the sight of his misguided, junkie daughter any longer.


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, I just want to say that this story is fairly mapped out. At least for the next few chapters or so. There will be a nice surprise coming up in the next chapter, probably one you all saw coming and maybe one you even wanted to happen. And it's not one Camryn will take very well. Withdrawl will do that to you I imagine. Anyway, shout outs to XxCrash.And.BurnXx for being my sort of editor again. I think I may just make her my always editor if she's up to the task. Have fun at the Drake concert tonight Crash. And remember our talk about crying. I hope you get a hundred pictures with him! Now on with the story!_

_Cheers,  
Trizzy_

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**Chapter Three: From Yesterday**  


It rained the day Bobby and Lauren dropped Camryn off at the rehab centre. The clouds opened up and poured their pain on the busy world of Detroit as Camryn sat in the backseat of Bobby's car. Watching the life pass by her in a blur, she stewed in her quiet rage at being denied the sound of her father's voice once again. The drugs Wendy had passed on to her during her visit did nothing for her. The rare, but often talked about, less than potent batch of heroin Wendy's supplier was sometimes known for. After injecting the filth into her bloodstream with no affects, Camryn had thrown the needle across the bathroom and let loose a string of profanities any sailor would be proud of. She had then crawled into her bed and cried herself to sleep. The nurse who had let her use the phone woke her that morning, informing her of her mother's arrival. That was how she ended up in the car, silently fuming while boring a hole into the back of her mother's head with her eyes. Bobby cast a glance back in the rear view mirror at his niece and let out a sigh.

"You know we're doing this because we love you," he stated.

She snorted and turned her scathing gaze back to the view through the window. "Whatever helps you two sleep at night."

"How can you have such a clean conscious about being a fucking junkie?" Bobby barked. "Do you honestly think this is what your father wanted for you?"

"You have no idea what the fuck my dad wanted for me Uncle Bobby. Yeah, maybe he really didn't want me to end up like this. But until you can actually sit down and have the conversation with him, don't even bother trying to tell me what he wanted for me," she snapped, rubbing her biceps.

The car fell silent then as Bobby joined Camryn in a silent rage and grinding of teeth. Lauren said nothing, too tired to put up a fight. Rain pattered against the window, adding to the gloom of Camryn's mood as they pulled up to the centre. It loomed ahead, dark clouds shrouding the grey brick walls with a menacing mist. Camryn gazed over at it, unable to stop herself from laughing at how cliché it all was. It was like a villainous castle in a lame fantasy movie; all that was missing was a moat with some thunder and lightning. With a heavy sigh, Bobby pulled the car into a vacant spot and killed the engine. He turned to face Camryn only to be met with a not so subtle finger gesture before she slammed the door on him. Lauren looked at him and shook her head, mostly to clear the tears out of her eyes. The three of them trudged up to the front door of the centre, rain soaking through their thin summer shirts.

At the door, greeting what Camryn could only assume were a fresh batch of vagrants and junkies, was an over cheerful middle aged woman. Her hair was a shocking yet flattering shade of white which was peppered with the remnants of what was once a rich mahogany but had faded with time. The colour had also washed out of her eyes, leaving her with a dull shade of grey Camryn guessed were once a brilliant shade of hazel or green. No amount of make up or botox could hide the creases in her forehead but the more Camryn studied this woman, the more she came to realize that it was the deep creases and thin lines that gave her a personality, when combined with her laugh lines. The only feature on this woman that had stood the test of time was her luminous smile. It chased the grey of the day away and warmed Camryn up to the idea of actually staying in the centre. The woman held out her hand and welcomed them with a flash of her brilliant grin.

"Welcome to West Detroit Rehabilitation Clinic. My name is Audrey. I'm the head counsellor here. Are you checking in?" she chimed.

Lauren nodded. "We're here for my daughter Camryn. Do you um…is it customary to greet everyone at the door?"

Audrey chuckled. "No, actually. The only reason I'm out here is our on site supervisor. He thinks it makes the repeat offenders feel more at home. Just between you and me, he's full of absolute shit."

Camryn let out a small chuckle. "Forced, sugary greetings are lost on the ones who always come back."

"You must be Camryn, our newest resident," she said, holding out her hand for Camryn to shake. "What makes you say the greetings are wasted on them?"

"They're way too fucking high to notice. And the ones that aren't, don't give a rat's ass. They're repeat offenders. If they really wanted to get clean, you wouldn't need to be out here welcoming them back in the first place," she stated, matter-of-factly.

Audrey whistled, slowly nodding her head in agreement. "Smart girl you have there Mrs…"

"Mercer. Lauren Mercer."

"Lauren. What a pretty name. And is this your husband, Mrs. Mercer?" Audrey inquired, turning her sights on Bobby.

Camryn watched in quiet curiosity as Bobby glanced at her. "Actually no. I'm the uh…former brother in law. My brother died about seventeen years ago."

"I'm so sorry," Audrey stated, placing her hand on his forearm. "That's a terrible thing to lose."

She meant it. Camryn could tell by the wrinkles that lined her brow. She smiled and moved closer to Audrey. The woman looked over at Camryn with a smile that warmed every layer of her body. Lauren regarded her daughter's sudden closeness with another woman and felt the world crash down around her. The two began to make their way into the centre, leaving Lauren and Bobby standing in the rain. She turned to him, tears confusing the raindrops on her face. He pulled her into his arms and followed the disappearing forms of Camryn and her future counsellor. Once they were inside the warmth of the wide open space of the lobby, he lifted her chin. The green of her eyes had deepened, and her lashes had thickened with her tears and Bobby realized then just how beautiful she was. Gently, he brushed her tears away with the pad of his thumb.

"My daughter hates me Bobby. How did I let it get this far?" she whispered, nuzzling the palm of his hand.

"She doesn't hate you Lauren. She's just confused right now," he stated. "There was nothing you could have done to stop her."

Lauren looked up at him, blinking more tears from her eyes. "There were lots of things I could have done to stop this from happening. I should have paid more attention to her."

"You paid as much attention to her as humanly possible, Lauren. Sometimes these things just happen. Kids go down the wrong paths. The important thing is that you're taking action to help her," he assured. "You're not a bad person because you're daughter is on drugs."

She smiled. "Thank you Bobby. I know you're only saying this to make me stop crying, but thank you anyway."

Camryn ran up to them, Audrey close behind. "This might actually not be so bad mom."

"I'm glad you're looking at this with such an open mind Cammy," Lauren beamed, stroking her daughter's hair.

"Don't call me Cammy mom. But maybe it won't be so bad, I mean, there's got to be another way," she mused outloud.

"Another way to what, honey?" Lauren inquired.

"Another way to uh…deal with my um…emotional problems," she lied, looking everywhere but her mother. "Besides, how long could rehab possibly take?"

Audrey exchanged a worried glance with the two adults. "Actually Camryn that's all up to you. You can make it easy or hard on yourself, depending on if you really do want to find another outlet for dealing with your 'emotional problems' as you call them."

"Well…what am I going to do about school? Exams start next week. I don't want to fail my whole just because you people think I need help," she snapped, suddenly realizing the potential problem of rehab.

"Your teachers will be sending you the exams you need," Bobby explained.

"But what about university? I got accepted to Wayne State. Does this mean I can't go now?" she demanded.

"Again, that's up to you Camryn. If you really want to get off the heroin, then you'll be able to do it in time for fall term," Audrey explained. "I have faith that you can do this."

"Do we get roommates here?" she inquired.

Audrey nodded. "You do, actually. We feel that this really is better with someone who knows what you're going through. Usually we place our newcomers in with someone who's been here for a while who's close to kicking their habit. That way they can help you through cravings."

"Are these…same sex roommates?" Lauren asked.

"Unfortunately we can't guarantee same sex roomies. But the rooms are under constant supervision, leaving no space for intercourse, if that's what you're worried about Mrs. Mercer," Audrey explained.

Camryn rolled her eyes. "Jesus mom. You honestly think I'm going to fall for someone just as strung out and fucked up as I am?"

"Watch your mouth Cammy. And yes. You do have a tendency for attracting the wrong guys. Well Audrey, thank you for speaking with us. We have all the other information we need," Bobby stated, shaking Audrey hand.

Lauren kissed Camryn's cheek. "We'll be back to visit every chance we get honey OK?"

"Mom, I'm fine. And stop calling me Cammy. Jesus. My name is CAMRYN. Go home. I'll see you probably in a week," Camryn sighed, pushing her mother to arm's length and turning to Audrey. "Can I meet my roommate now?"

"Yes Camryn. Thank you for choosing our centre Mrs. Mercer," she replied, leading Camryn down the hall to her room.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: This one is kind of long. I know I said that I was going to have a Lauren related surprise, I got a bit sidetracked with Jeremy and Camryn. But it will be in the next chapter for sure. And Camryn is not going to like it. The next few chapters will have more to do with Jack and Lauren and Bobbby. Thanks for reading guys. And special thanks to XxCrash.And.BurnXx for putting up with my constant worrying over the quality of each chapter. You rock!_

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Chapter Four: Eye of the Storm

She was hesitant to meet him, as she usually was with boys. They assured her he was a decent guy, someone who wouldn't fail to help her if she needed it. But she remained apprehensive, if not more cautious. Nice guys did not exist in her life. They were an urban legend in her disaster-ridden existence. Her shared bedroom loomed ahead of her, chilling the base of her spine. He was in there, possibly reading a book or sleeping. She began to imagine just how terrible he would be. Hitting her when she did something wrong. Blaming her for all the problems in his life. She imagined that she was the reason he was there; her presence somehow forcing him to a near fatal cocaine overdose. Or was it crystal meth? Neither was a reason to celebrate a reprieve from death. Life after that was nothing more than a cruel joke. And she would know best. She herself had lived through an overdose of cocaine and heroin. No one in the clinic, especially her so called roommate, would understand. No, he would understand least of all.

They were at the door now. The sound of her racing heart could be heard through the entire hallway, she was sure. He could smell the fear on her, she just knew it. Suddenly, she caught the negativity of her thoughts and shook them away. 'Give him a chance' a small voice chirped. She nodded, allowing the voice to continue. 'Maybe he's actually perfect for you.' Perfect how, she wondered. 'Just perfect,' the voice stated. It began to sound like a fathomable possibility and she smiled as the door opened. With a newfound eagerness, she craned her neck to catch a glimpse of him. But her hungry eyes weren't to be satisfied. The room was entirely empty, save for the bunk bed in the far corner, pushed against the wall. Her disappointment apparent on her face, the woman she was with placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Jeremy must be out at the moment."

Out? How did one go 'out' when they were in a rehab clinic? She was too busy wondering how the enigmatic Jeremy escaped the confines of the clinic, to notice the new presence in the room. That is, until they cleared their throat.

"You must be Camryn, my new roomie."

His voice was attractively deep; it made the hairs on her arms dance with excitement and curiosity. When she turned to lay eyes on Jeremy for the first time, she was not disappointed with what she saw. The raven colour of his shaggy hair was a perfect contrast to the unusual hue of his eyes. At first glance, she mistook them for an icy blue, not unlike her own. But when she actually stopped to study the smooth curves of his face, Camryn was surprised to see they were actually a storm cloud grey. What intrigued her the most was the sparkle in his eyes. It blossomed behind the grey as if it were a nova in the sky. She found no trace of ill-will in the smoky orbs and felt instantly compelled to learn everything about him. Slowly, she nodded, remembering he'd asked if she were his roommate. He smiled then, playful crinkles around his eyes. It was an illuminating smile, instantly reacquainting her with the happier times in her life.

"It's great to meet you Camryn. I'm sure Audrey's already told you my name is Jeremy," he stated.

She blushed when he held out his hand to shake hers. "Hi Jeremy."

Camryn should have been embarrassed by the flush of her cheeks. But Jeremy either didn't notice, or didn't care. He continued to look at her with a smile on his face. He quickly ran his long fingers through his hair and turned to face the beds. Camryn took this opportunity to check out the rest of her roommate. He had a lean frame, withered down after years of drug abuse but gradually rebuilding muscle mass after months of rehab. Even after the countless weeks of rehabilitation he had a nice tan. She noticed the way his dark denim jeans fit the subtle curve of his bum and her cheeks flushed even more. Jermey's shoulders looked strong; strong enough to support her in a game of Chicken. He reached across the bed to pull back the covers and Camryn sighed. She wanted to waste the day in his arms. He turned back to her, the smile still on his face.

"You can leave her here Anna. Audrey says I should give her a warm welcome anyway," he said, being the first to address the other person in the room.

Camryn's nerves attacked her as she watched her escort leave the room. She glanced around the space, looking everywhere but him. "So how long have you actually been here?"

He chuckled. "Right down to the drug questions huh? Well alright Miss. Camryn. I've been here about six months."

She tugged on her earlobe. "Six months?"

"I had a really bad habit," he shrugged. "So what are you in here for?"

"Overdose," she replied. "You?"

"Same," he stated. "Of?"

"Cocaine and heroin, actually," she said, crossing the room to the beds.

He whistled. "Well aren't you hardcore?"

"Shut up. What about you? What did you do?" she inquired.

Another dazzling smile from Jeremy before he replied, "You name it, I did it."

She smiled for the first time. "Now who's hardcore?"

With the smile that never seemed absent from his face, Jeremy laughed. The two were unaware that they were being observed. Not by clinic staff however. They were actually being monitored by a certain threesome led by someone Camryn had never really gotten to know. Jack was pacing the floor, chewing his bottom lip. Ava watched him with mild interest while Candace stayed cemented next to the pool, watching intently. Jack was mid-pace when he realized Candace wasn't listening to what he was complaining about. He stopped and marched up to her, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Hey. Earth to Candace. Why aren't you listening to me?" he asked.

"I'm not in the mood for your bitching right now, Jack. Just…leave me alone, alright?" she sighed, looking down on Camryn and Jeremy.

"Are you alright Candace? You're paying more attention to the pool than usual. What's up?" Ava inquired, approaching her friend.

"I haven't seen Jeremy since he was five," she whispered, folding her arms over her chest. "It's funny that he ends up there, with your Cammy, Jack."

"How do you know Jeremy?" Jack asked.

"From a long time ago," she sighed, turning away from the pool. "I'm proud that he's turning his life around."

"Did you ever go to him? Like I went to Cammy when she was over dosing?" Jack asked, leaning against the wall.

"I did. More than once. He punished me severely for it. I'm never allowed to see Jeremy again," she stated, breathing in her tears. "This is why you need to listen to him Jack, if you ever want to see Camryn or Lauren again."

He scoffed, kicking imaginary pebbles with the toe of his shoe. "I don't want to see Lauren for the rest of my existence here."

"You don't mean that Jack," Ava sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Just wait until you live a couple more decades without her. You'll change your tune."

"When can I see Camryn?" he asked, ignoring the obvious boredom of the brunette.

"I don't know Jack. Just be patient," Ava said, placing a hand on his shoulder and casting a glance down at Jeremy and Camryn. "As hard as that may be."

It was if a light had gone off behind Jack's eyes. "Did you leave your son or your daughter behind when you died Ava?"

She stepped back, blinking to hide her angst. "I don't know what you mean Jack. I didn't…I didn't have anyone."

"I don't believe you. Watching Candace look down on Jeremy and Camryn the way she does…Jeremy is her son. He put us together because we've all missed out on our children's lives. So which is it Ava? Son or daughter?" Jack inquired.

Candace chewed on her thumbnail, awaiting Ava's answer. "You know, I've been wondering that for the past seventeen years. She's never answered me either."

"Because there's no answer. I don't have any children. So just drop it, alright?" she snapped, storming away from them.

Jack looked over at Candace, who shrugged and turned back to the pool. "It's so funny that he would lead your Camryn to my Jam."

"Do you think something will come out of it?" Jack inquired.

"No. Jeremy is bad news for her. He's been in an out of that clinic for three years. Boss man wouldn't want that for Camryn," Candace explained.

"Maybe he brought them together so she could help him," Jack suggested.

Candace smiled. "I can only hope. But I think Jeremy is beyond repair now Jack."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Well, this one is a little long guys. Sorry. I got carried away and had to break it in to two parts. So one is Camryn's reaction and the other is Jack's. Let me know what you think, even if it's bad. Shout out to Crash, because she is my hero and sometimes even my muse. Gar Bear indeed says hi back Crash lol. Now that I have this update up and running, I think it's time for an update for Be Perfect and The Way I Am. Whoot! I am on a friggen role!_

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Chapter Five: Hurricane

Another day of rehab dawned on Camyrn. It was not a day she looked foreword to. Audrey had already warned her the doctors planned to cut their doses of methadone out of her medications. 'Before she becomes addicted to that too' was their hundred and twenty thousand dollar a year professional opinion. So Camryn was already awake when the sun rose over the window sill at six eighteen that morning. What she didn't know was that, in the bunk above her, Jeremy lay awake as well. Camryn slammed her head on the bottom of his bunk when she shot up at the sound of his voice. Jeremy chuckled as he swung down to check on his wounded roommate.

"Too earwy for wittle Ryn to converse?" he cooed, his trademark smile plastered on his face.

She was annoyed by his early morning attitude. "Yes. It is too early. Since when are you awake before noon?" she snapped, rubbing her forehead.

He shrugged, which was an odd sight since he was upside down. "I'm full of surprises Cam. You should know that by now."

"I'll be surprised when they let you out of here," she teased.

"Asshole," he chuckled, reaching out and slapping her forehead. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your sunny disposition the fine morning?"

"They're cutting my methadone today," she replied, lying back down.

"Oh shit," Jeremy stated, disappearing up to his bed. "I remember when they did that to me. Bastards."

"What was it like?"

"Honestly? Not as bad as cutting out the smack."

Camryn sighed, rolling on to her side. "That's a big help Jer. Thanks."

"Well I'm sure everyone adapts differently. But is that all that's bothering you?"

"How long have you been here Jeremy?"

"No jokes?"

"No jokes. Straight up, how long have you been here?"

Jeremy let out a long sigh. "In and out for three years."

"I already knew that. I mean, how long have you been here this time?" she inquired.

"Seven months," he stated.

She nodded, surprised he had actually answered her this time. "How many times have your parents come to visit?"

"Never, because my dad is an asshole and my mom died when I was a kid," he replied.

"I'm sorry Jeremy," she whispered.

"Forget about it. What about you?"

"My dad was killed when I was only a baby," she replied. "But he and my mom were totally in love."

"How do you know that if you never knew him?"

"Because of the way she talks about him. Her eyes light up in a way I never see unless she's talking about my dad. It's like she's talking about the purest part of her soul. The love they had was that real love only old married couple could understand. She'll never have that again as long as she lives and she knows that. It's why she's never even tried another relationship," Camryn explained, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Does she ever visit you?" he asked.

"No. No she doesn't," she admitted.

"She will. It's only been a month Cam," he assured.

"I hope you're right Jeremy. I'm going down to the cafeteria. Would you like anything?" she asked, flinging the covers from her body.

"Pass. I'll grab breakfast later," he said. "Thanks though."

"I didn't think the word breakfast was in your vocabulary. But you do realize by the time you get down there, you'll be grabbing lunch," she mocked, leaving the room.

Camryn padded down the hall, the cool tile an uncomfortable chill on the bare soles of her feet. Not many people joined her on her journey down the hall. In fact, she was alone. She didn't mind though. Camryn hated everyone in the centre but Jeremy and she only liked him because he was her roommate. Under normal circumstances, she was sure she wouldn't like him either. His company was enjoyable in small doses but a small part of her nagged that he was not to be trusted. She wasn't sure why, but she believed it. Something about Jeremy Innes unsettled her and she kept it constantly in mind. So long as he wasn't actually in the same room as her. But one flash of that smile and all bets were off. She hated him for it.

"Ah here you are. Jeremy told me I'd find you on your way here," Audrey said, shattering the serene world of Camryn's thoughts.

'Friggen Jeremy thinks he knows me so well' she thought bitterly as she turned to greet her counsellor at the cafeteria door. "Good morning Audrey. What brings you in search of me so early?"

Audrey smiled brightly; an annoying habit she must have passed on to Jeremy. "Well, I have some news for you."

"Good or bad?" she asked, sceptical now of Audrey.

"I'll let you be the judge," the older woman replied.

"Is it about my methadone?" Camryn questioned.

"No. It's about your mother," Audrey answered.

"Is she dead?" the teen inquired.

"Heavens no. And I would certainly deem that bad news. Jesus you jump to some dark conclusions Camryn," Audrey sighed. "She's coming to visit later today."

"Today? Really? Just my mom, or my uncle too?"

"Both I believe. So clean yourself up today. She's excited to see you," Audrey explained, turning to leave.

Camryn tossed all thoughts of breakfast aside as she jogged back to her room to share her news with Jeremy.

---

She sat across from her mom, ignoring Bobby's presence. Camryn couldn't understand why she even cared that they were visiting. Had they come soon after she had checked in, she would have told them both to fuck off. It was a question that nagged her as she told her mom all about Jeremy and how the doctors were taking her off methadone. She relayed her fears to a stunned Lauren while Bobby sat with the quietly, a small smile on his face. It was the first time, in a long time, that mother and daughter were having a civil conversation. The happiness that radiated from Lauren warmed every part of his body and erased the fact he was being ignored by both of them. He drummed his fingers on the table while he cradled his chin in the palm of his right hand. Camryn cast a glance over at him, about to say something when a flash of silver caught her eye.

"Holy shit Uncle Bobby! Is that a wedding ring?" Camryn exclaimed, staring at her uncle.

"Uh yeah Cammy. It is," he mumbled, moving his hands into his lap.

"You guys have been here over an hour and you didn't tell me?"

Lauren glanced over at Bobby. "You're…alright with this?"

"Hell yeah. It's about time too. I was starting to think he'd be alone forever," Camryn chuckled. "So what's her name?"

Bobby sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "She doesn't know Lauren."

"Well then…just tell her Bobby. She's a big girl, she can handle it," Lauren stated.

"OK well now I'm confused. Who is it Uncle Bobby? It's not…a guy, is it? Oh God I'm not going to have Uncle Bobby and Aunt Frank am I?" Camryn groaned.

Lauren pressed her lips together to contain laughter while Bobby's cheeks flushed. "What, in the seventeen years that you've known me, made you think I'm a fairy?"

Camryn shrugged. "I don't know. I've never seen you with any girls, other than my mom. I just figured it was your other option."

He opened his mouth to shout, but a question came out instead. "Why'd you pick me out to be the uncle?"

Camryn laughed. "Because no one is more 'pants' than you Uncle Bobby. Even Jeffrey Dahmer would've been your bitch."

Lauren laughed out loud then. "She has a good point Bobby."

He peered at both of them. "I ain't no fairy."

"Whatever rubs your Buddah. So who's the uh…lucky lady you suckered into spending the rest of her life with you?" Camryn inquired, catching the look Lauren and Bobby exchanged. "Wait it's not…oh my God."

Lauren put a hand over Camryn's, who quickly snatched it away. "Honey it's not what you think. Really."

"OK so you AREN'T married to my uncle?" she snapped. "You're disgusting mom."

"Cammy don't-"

"Talk to my mom that way?" she sneered. "You're just as pathetic as she is Uncle Bobby. And STOP fucking calling me Cammy."

Lauren tried again to console her daughter, only to get another rebuffing. "We aren't doing this to hurt you Camryn."

"Why then? Why would you marry him?" she demanded, jabbing a bony finger in Bobby's direction. "I can't believe you. Both of you are absolutely disgusting."

"That's enough Camryn," Bobby warned.

Feeling particularly defiant, Camryn ignored her uncle and pressed on. "Fuck both of you."

The venom in her words sent Lauren reeling. "Why would you say that Camryn?"

"Because I hate you mom." Her voice was cold and empty of all emotion.

Lauren bit her bottom lip and, before she could stop herself, slapped Camryn hard across the face. Camryn's mouth was a perfectly formed 'O' on her face as she clutched her angry red cheek. Bobby sat stunned, staring at an equally shocked Camryn. Both adults were on full alert now, unsure of how and when she would react. The two counsellors, who were supervising the visit, stood close by, prepared for Camryn's explosive reaction. Silence had never weighed as heavy on the five occupants as it did minutes before she reacted. And boy did she react.

Camryn spit in her mom's face before lunging at her across the table. The force of her jump knocked Lauren backwards. Camryn's long fingers curled around her mom's neck as she sat on top of her, pinning her to the floor. Bobby and the two counsellors immediately moved into action. Being closer to the scene, Bobby wrapped his strong arms around his niece's waist and tried to haul her off her struggling mother. Camryn lashed out at him, her hands curling into fists. She swung, just once, and her fist connected with his jaw. Dazed, he dropped her and she went back to attacking her mom. Finally, the two counsellors manoeuvred around the brawl and snatched Camryn into their arms. She struggled against them, writhing and twisting to get a look at her shaken mother.

"I hate you! DIRTY FUCKING WHORE!" she screamed as they dragged her out of the room.

Once they were a safe distance from the lounge, the counsellors passed her sobbing form off to the doctors, who were at the ready with a syringe of sedatives. Her struggling had slowed as she tired herself out with sobbing, but they stuck the needle in her neck regardless. Camryn felt it immediately, and tried to fight the light-headedness that was closing in fast around her. But in seconds, she slackened in the doctor's arms and the carried her back to her room, restraints held firmly in hand.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Well hello readers! It would seem that no one is really reading this story anymore. Well, fine! I'm going to keep updating anyway, but I want you all to know that it's because only 'cuz I like writing this so much. (for everyone who picked up on the reference to Dazed and Confused...Bravo:D) Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. And of course there's the shout out to Crash, who makes all this magic possible with her quick wit and willing acceptance of my craziness. You are the best Crash. Best of luck with D and the little surprise on the way!_

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**Chapter Six: Ignorance Is Bliss**

The sight ripped through him like a thousand shot gun pellets. And he knew what that felt like. His wife had married his brother. In all his life, and in all his after life, Jack never expected to see his wife get over him with Bobby. Jack watched the scene play out below him, pride swelling in his chest at the disgust and contempt in his daughter's voice. He watched in quiet horror when Lauren's open palm connected with Camryn's cheek. Ava turned her head away and Candace sighed. This would lead no where good, both of them knowing the mild extent of Jack's temper, and they were ready for Camryn's anger. But they didn't expect her to leap across the table and try to strangle her mother. Ava shrieked and covered her face while Jack let out a whoop of excitement. He laughed when Camryn called Lauren a whore, but his giggle was cut short when Ava slapped him hard across the face, much like Lauren had slapped Camryn. But Jack was too angry to be shocked.

"What the fuck Ava?" he demanded.

"Lauren is being strangled and you're laughing! What the hell is wrong with you Jack Liam Mercer?" Ava retorted, her face flushing with rage. "She might DIE and you're laughing?"

"Oh she'll be fine. Those beast men won't let my Cammy kill her mother," Jack scoffed. "And it's not like she wouldn't deserve it anyway."

"STOP SAYING THAT!" Ava bellowed, startling both Candace and Jack. "That is a terrible, awful thing for you to say about the love of your life."

"She's the love of my brother's life now," Jack spat. "Camryn's right; she is a dirty fucking whore."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe Lauren just needs someone to comfort her? She doesn't want to go through the hassle of finding what she had with you, because she knows she'll never have it again. What you two had only comes once. Unfortunately for you guys, you were shot. GET OVER IT," Ava demanded. "Give the girl a fucking break!"

"NO! I'M DONE CUTTING HER A FUCKING BREAK! IF SHE WANTS COMPANIONSHIP, FINE! BUT DON'T HAVE THAT FUCKING COMPANIONSHIP WITH MY BROTHER!" Jack exploded, knocking the stone basin onto the floor. "THAT IS THE BIGGEST INSULT YOU COULD EVER MAKE!"

Candace winced at the sight of the overturned basin, water leaking slowly from it. "Jack, please relax. Yes, what Lauren did is wrong and hurtful, but you don't need to destroy our only window to our children."

"Shut up Candace! You have no idea what it's like to watch your fucking brother walk off with the woman you spent your whole life aching for, finally get and then lose because you're a stupid bastard who walks into an OBVIOUS trap and gets murdered! So don't even TRY to tell me to relax!" he screamed. "They didn't even try and stop the doctor's from drugging Cammy! They don't give a shit about anyone but themselves!"

Ava had had enough of Jack's rage. She marched up to him and shoved him. He stumbled backwards, tripping over the basin he had flung onto the floor. He landed hard on his back, the wind escaping him. Ava stood over him, anger ablaze in her green eyes, as he gasped for breath and clutched his stomach. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and he coughed the moment his lungs started working again. Jack rolled onto his side, tears still spilling from his eyes. He had officially lost Lauren and it was more painful than any bullets that had ever torn through his body. Before he could damn them up again, sobs began to escape him. Candace crept up to him, prepared to comfort him, but Ava stopped her. When she caught the confusion in Candace's wide eyes, she sighed.

"He needs to let it out. I imagine he's been blocking the pain out for seventeen years and I think he needs this. Something tells me this is the first time he's realized he'll never be with her again. It's the worst feeling he will ever feel Candace. Trust me," she explained, standing over a balled up Jack.

"Is this how you felt when you realized you'd never see your child again?" Candace inquired, hoping that Jack's brilliant display of despair would prod Ava into revealing her secret.

Ava nodded. "This is how we both reacted. I reacted much sooner than Thomas, but it was the same for both of us. You know, most people think that death is the worst feeling they could ever feel. But they haven't actually died and watched their loved ones grow up and move on without them. The only thing that hurts worse than realizing you'll never be with them again is having them actually forget you."

"But you just said that it's the worst feeling we'll ever feel," Candace stated.

"It is. But that's because we've left children behind. They'll never forget us. Even Camryn, who never knew Jack, will never think of anyone else as her father. Children never forget their parents," she explained.

Candace frowned. "Jack left a wife behind too though. Does that mean she'll forget him?"

"There's a higher chance of it happening. Which is why we need to start training him," Ava sighed. "Training him will keep her at arm's reach forever."

"I would think that would be worse than knowing he'll never have her again. Isn't it kind of harsh to have him break down and then shove her right in his face?" Candace inquired.

"We're not shoving anyone in his face. He has to break down before he can be ready for the burden of being a guardian angel. Jack gets to choose if he wants this, Candace. We would never force this on him," Ava explained.

Candace watched Ava glide over to Jack and kneel down beside him. She placed one hand on his shoulder and stroked his hair with the other. His sobs dwindled to soft hiccups as she helped him to a sitting position and rubbed his back. He looked over at Candace, silently pleading her to help him ease his pain. She shook her head and looked away, unable to do anything but blink away her own tears of pain. Jack turned his cloudy gaze back to Ava, who lifted his chin. With the delicate care of a mother, she brushed the remaining tears from his cheeks.

"What do I do now?" he whispered.

She smiled. "You choose."

"Choose what?"

"Jack, I think you're ready to be a guardian angel. But only you can really make that decision. If this is something you want, Thomas will start your training next week," she replied.

"Do I have to choose now?"

She shook her head. "You have a week to make your choice Jack. But you won't be able to see Camryn or Lauren while you're deciding. This is an incredibly huge decision to make and I need you to put some serious thought into it. Weigh the pros and cons, Jack. Because once you've made your choice, you can't take it back."

He watched her leave the room, then turned his gaze on Candace. "Have you had the training?"

"I got here the same time as you Jack. I haven't had to see the things you saw today. I'm not ready," she murmured.

"So should I do it?"

"I can't make that decision for you Jack. You need to do that on your own. Good luck," she replied, following Ava's trail and leaving Jack alone in the room to ponder his thoughts.

He rubbed his eyes and righted the stone basin. With a strained groan, he lifted the heavy bowl and placed it back on the podium he had knocked it from. Once it was rested safely back on it's place, water began to stream back into the bowl. Jack watched the muddled image of his daughter. Fresh tears washed into his eyes as he saw he strapped down to her bed, too drugged to do anything but move her head weakly from side to side. Jeremy knelt next to her bed, stroking her cheek with the pad of his thumb. He could see the thin veil of sweat on her face; hear her soft whimpers as she tried to lift her arms. Jack could also see Jeremy's hand slide out from under her pillow. He raised an eyebrow; confused at the nature of the gesture. There was no real reason for his hand to be under the pillow. It was a small detail, but it unsettled Jack. Something about the quick, sharp manner in which he pulled his hand back and looked around the room didn't sit right. But he could do nothing about it. For now, it would have to go unnoticed. So with a heavy hearted sighed, Jack waited for the bowl to fill again before leaving the room.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long! I got caught up with work and then I was on writer's block for a bit. Now, don't get mad at me for the direction I took Jeremy in. This was my plan from day one of this story. It's just the way the character went. But he won't be like this forever. Just enjoy the update now, it's nice and long for you, because there was so much I wanted to get into this chapter. The next one might be a long time coming. JUST KIDDING! I'll have it sooner than later._

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CHAPTER SEVEN: FELL ON BLACK DAYS

When Camyrn awoke from her drug induced slumber, she couldn't ignore the pain in her head. Her temples throbbed to the beat of their own imaginary drum. The dryness in her mouth was too much for her to handle. Nothing could console her and she was so frustrated with her dehydration, she started to cry. Her tears only made it worse and it wasn't long before she felt the emptiness in her stomach, the dizziness in her head and fatigue on her shoulders. Before she knew what was happening, she was throwing up over the side of her bed. In the midst of her vomiting, she was aware of a warm body next to her, holding her hair and rubbing her back. She was shocked to look up and see Jeremy. He smiled sadly and handed her a glass of lukewarm water.

"They didn't warn me either," he said.

"Warn you of what?" she croaked, forcing the warm liquid down her throat.

"That it would be this hard," he replied. "They never warn you when they sedate you."

"I doubt I would have heard them," she sniffed, rolling on to her back.

"Good point," he chuckled.

"How often have they had to sedate you?" she inquired.

"A bunch. I'm never the easiest person to deal with when I'm high," he replied.

"But the point of rehab is not to be high," she observed.

"True, but it's never been a strong suit of mine. Getting the point of things, I mean," he said.

"Have they had to sedate you recently?"

He nodded. "But not for anything crazy, like trying to strangle my mom."

"That's because you don't have a mom to strangle. But you'd strangle your dad if he did what that whore did," she stated.

"I'd strangle my dad anyway Camryn," he said, taking the glass from her. "It's half the reason I'm here."

"The other half of course being the drugs, I assume?"

"You would assume correct," he answered, pushing the call button beside the bed.

"What did you do to your dad to get in here?"

"The first time? I tried to stab him because I thought he was a Nazi spy," he explained, before adding, "I'm half Jewish."

She smiled. "You thought your dad was a Nazi?"

"I don't need to be high to think that," he winked. "Anyway, after he fought me off, he tied me to a chair and called the cops."

"That shouldn't be funny, but it really is," she laughed.

"Well the second time he stuck me in here was because I knocked him out with a frying pan. I was high on…LSD? Whatever it was, I thought he was trying to abduct me," he explained. "He was none too pleased when he came to."

"Did he tie you to another chair?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Knocked me out with my own frying pan. I had to get twenty stitches."

"These stories don't even sound real. They're too comical," she giggled. "I'd put you in here too if you did that shit to me."

"I'd put me in a mental hospital, if I REALLY wanted to get back at me. This place is a joke," he said. "Punishment wise at least. Even the sedatives lose their punch after a few rounds."

"Maybe you're addicted to those too," she said as the door opened.

"What is Jeremy addicted to now?" a smooth female asked.

"Smiles," he replied, hopping onto his bunk. "And hugs from you, Miss Vaughn."

She rolled her eyes. "Feeling alright Camryn?"

"I threw up on the floor," she stated with shame in her words.

"In case you were blind and didn't see it there," Jeremy said.

"Shut up Jeremy. Want me to tell Camryn what you did after you woke up from your first sedation?" Miss Vaughn snapped.

"Don't even think about it," he warned.

"Then keep your mouth shut and leave her alone," she demanded. "Don't worry about it Camryn. Everyone does it."

"Really?" Camryn asked.

"Really, really," Miss Vaughn replied with a smile. "So we'll get this cleaned up and get Dr. Ellins down here to check up on you."

"So…what comes after that?" Camryn inquired.

"A session with your counsellor to talk about what you did, why you did it and why we had to sedate you," she answered.

"I knew it wasn't this easy," Camryn grumbled.

"Well, Cam honey, you leapt across a table to choke your mom. We like to know why you do these things."

"Because my mom is a whore."

She smiled. "Make sure you let Emma know that."

Camryn returned her smile. "Thanks Nicole."

"Any time Cam," she said, exiting the room.

"While you're gone to your "session" they'll search your stuff," Jeremy stated bluntly.

"I don't have anything to hide," she said. "Why?"

"When they sedate you, it's because they think you're on drugs again. They search for a stash," he answered.

"What do they do if they find one?"

"You don't ever want to know the answer to that."

"It's happened to you, hasn't it?"

He nodded. "Once. Never again. It scared the hell out of me."

"It obviously didn't scare you enough if you're here again," she observed.

"Hey, heroin's a tough drug to quit. I doubt you'll get it out of your system in one shot," he snapped.

She was quiet for a long time. The cleaning crew had come and gone. Dr. Ellins preformed his check up. She thought about why she missed the poison so much. After Dr. Ellins left, she suddenly realized why she was so reluctant to give it up. It had taken her to her father when she'd overdosed, but not when she had tried it again in the hospital. The more she thought about it, the more she discovered it was the overdose she craved. She longed to see her father; to hear his voice over her name and his healing touch on her belly. A thought occurred to her, nudging her from her silence.

"Jeremy, when you were high, did you ever see your mom?" she asked softly.

"What kind of question is that?" he retorted.

"Well you saw your dad as a Nazi spy and an alien. I don't think it's too far out," she replied crossly.

"Touché. Well if you must know, I saw her once, when I overdosed for the first time. She came to me and saved my life," he admitted.

"Is that why you can't quit heroin? Because you want to see her again?" she asked, throwing caution to the wind.

"You think I'm sabotaging myself? Because I saw my mom ONE TIME when I was dying?" he barked.

"When you overdosed," she corrected. "Have you seen her since?"

"No," he said flatly, trying to end the conversation.

"But you've been trying, haven't you?" she pushed.

"YES!" he shouted. "Congratulations Sherlock, you've figured me out. Feel better now?"

She stood up and peered at him. "A little, because now I'm not alone."

"What's that supposed to mean?" he grumbled, not looking over at her.

"My dad saved me from my overdose too," she confessed.

He turned his head slowly to start at her. "Don't fuck with me."

"I'm not. He put his hand on my stomach and told me I was a fighter and that he loved me, I would make it," she said.

"For real?" She nodded. "That's too crazy."

"And you've old seen her when you've OD'ed?" she inquired.

"Uh…yeah. Never after that," he lied. "And believe me, I've tried."

"I've only tried once. I ended up in here right after my overdose," she explained.

Before Jeremy could respond, the door swung open and Dr. Ellins waltzed in. "Shit," Jeremy mumbled.

"He's not here for you, Jeremy," she whispered.

"I know that. But it's still unnerving when they barge in like that," he hissed. "Hello again, Dr. Ellins."

"Ah, he speaks this time. How are you today Jeremy? Well, I hope?"

"Certainly in a better way than little Camryn here. Of course, I haven't been drugged against my will and improperly hydrated," Jeremy explained with a broad smile.

Dr. Ellins' eyebrow twitched in quiet rage. "Well Camryn, it's time for your session with Dr. West. And Jeremy-"

"Yeah I know the drill doctor," he sighed, climbing down from his bunk. "Good luck cam. See you on the other side."

Camryn waved a goodbye to him as Dr. Ellins led her down the hall to see her counsellor. As she walked away, Jeremy bit his bottom lip and cast a calculating glance at the two orderlies barging into the room. He let out a long sigh and flopped face first onto Camryn's bunk. His right hand disappeared under the pillow as his left arm dangled over the edge of the bed. The taller of the two orderlies groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Jeremy, you know the rules. Why are you being difficult?" he barked.

"I'm tired," was Jeremy's muffled response.

"Get up off the bed! Hands in plain sight!" the stocky one bellowed.

Jeremy grumbled and reluctantly climbed off the bed. "You can always ask nicely. You don't have to be such a jackass."

"Just keep your hands where I can see 'em," he barked, flinging the bed sheets onto the floor.

"I'm not concealing a weapon Pete, relax," Jeremy sighed, turning his gaze to his socks.

Pete opened his mouth to respond, but stopped when he caught sight of the two baggies among the folds of Camryn's rumpled sheets. "Well hello, hello. What have we here?"

Jeremy winced as Pete waved Ian over to inspect the white powder. In that moment, he had never felt like more of an asshole in his entire life. And he took his chance to make things right and threw them out the window with his integrity. Pete thrust the drugs under his nose, his face riddled with accusation. Jeremy looked away, afraid his guilt would be written on his forehead.

"Those aren't mine," he stated flatly.

"Look me in the eye when you say that and maybe I'll believe you," Pete snarled.

Taking a steadying breath, Jeremy turned to stare him down. "Those. Aren't. Mine," he repeated firmly.

Ian placed a hand on the burly man's shoulder. "Maybe he's right. The girl did try to kill her mom this morning."

"That's right…she did, didn't she? And the bottom bunk is hers, now that I think about it. The senseless wonder here always needs the top bunk," Pete sneered, staring at Jeremy. "Are these her drugs?"

Jeremy's eyes lost focus as he stared at the heroin he'd worked so hard to smuggle in. He hadn't gotten any of it. He wanted to say no, tell them that they were his drugs and take the punishment. At least then he'd get the drugs. But they would come at a price and he'd promised himself he'd never get caught again. No matter what he would say, he wouldn't get the heroin the way he wanted. A rage so fierce began to build in his chest as his perfect plan crumbled before his hazy eyes. If Camryn wasn't such a nutjob, he would have his fix. But she had to fly off the handle and try to crush her mom's windpipe. The rage erupted in him in an explosion of anger so fierce he though he would pass out. And he wrongly directed it all at Camryn.

"Yeah they're hers. She said she'd kill me if I told anyone she had them. And after this morning, I believed her," he lied, bowing his head in what he later recognized as shame.

Pete snorted and pocketed the baggies. "Thanks Jer. You've been a great help," he stated, clapping Jeremy on the back.

As they walked out of the room, Pete chuckling over Camryn's inevitable fate, Jeremy looked up at the ceiling. He could feel his mother's sad disappointment in him and it stung his eyes with tears of shame. But he couldn't take back what he'd done and he knew Camryn would never forgive him.

"I'm sorry mom," he whispered, wiping his eyes and walking out of the room.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Yes...it's been WAY too long. I apologize profusely. I have been super busy, and this story is REALLY hard to write because I never know what I'm going to do with Jack or Camryn...plus Jeremy...you know how it goes I'm sure. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I made it nice and long for everyone so they wouldn't be TOO upset with me. I think you'll like what I did here. At least, I hope you'll like it. Enjoy!_

The mirror shattered into a million tiny pieces when it connected with the cold white wall. From the other side of the door, Candace winced and turned to Ava. The elder spirit was in the midst of studying her nails and yawning when he pounded on the door with both fists. His offensive language fell on Ava's deaf ears. She turned and opened the door on Jack's tantrum, almost receiving a misplaced beat from one of his fists. Her hand circled around his closed fist and she smiled. He growled and wrenched his hand free from her grasp, turning his back to her. Crossing the length of the room, he pulled back and punched the wall. Ava rolled her eyes and slammed the door behind her.

"Stop being such a baby!" she roared.

Jack whirled around, a deep rooted fear in his eyes. "Why did this happen to me and my family?"

"It's not always about you, Jack. This happened to Camryn because He wanted it to. It needed to happen," Ava stated.

"Oh, so Camryn needed to grow up with out a father and then become a scab?" he spat.

"Yes," was Ava's simple reply. "Look Jack. I know that you saw what Jeremy did. He knows you saw what Jeremy did. And because you broke the rules, you need to make a choice now. You no longer have time to think about this, although I'm positive you were going to make this choice anyway."

He bit his bottom lip and looked at the mess he had created. "Well then I don't need to say it for you, if you can read my mind. Just let me see her."

"I can't do that Jack. Camryn needs to go through this part alone," Ava sighed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Did Jeremy do this without Candace?" he growled, his hands balled into tight fists at his sides.

"Yes, he did. And if you plan on hitting me, I strongly advise against it. Thomas would have you dropped out of this department faster than you can think about breathing," she stated coolly, guiding him out of the room.

Candace bit her lip as the duo walked by her. "Jack?"

He turned to flash her a small smile. "It's fine. I just have to stand and watch while my daughter has a psychotic drug induced hallucination."

"I had to watch Jeremy go through them," she whispered.

"He had more than one?" Jack inquired.

"I told you Jeremy was no good," she sighed. "Good luck Jack. It's one of the hardest things you have to see."

---

The lights buzzed above her with an irregular whine. Her brain throbbed against her temples as she tried to sit up. It was then that she could feel the suffocating hold of restraints around her ankles and wrists. Tears of frustration and confusion sprang immediately to her eyes as she looked around the grey room. It was empty save for the bed she was strapped to. A familiar overwhelming fatigue clouded her conscience and she began to weep. A heavy wave of defeat crashed down on her spirit. She went limp on the table and let out a loud shriek.

"Angry about getting caught?" a voice asked.

She craned her neck toward the low tenor. "Getting caught doing what?"

"We found your heroin Camryn."

"I don't have any heroin on me. I came here straight from the hospital," she choked.

"They were under your pillow. And Jeremy told us what you said to him. Shame on you Camryn. He's been doing so well this time around."

Her mouth opened and closed as she gasped for breath, a sad little goldfish frantically searching for air. Jeremy had stabbed her in the back, like she had done to so many of her friends before. It was not a feeling she enjoyed and understood why, in the end of it all, she was laying strapped to a cold steel table alone. Jeremy wasn't her friend. He was a friend of the drugs. She squeezed her eyes shut to block her sad tears of betrayal, but they managed to find their way out. A sob coughed its way out of her body. All she could feel was remorse for all the people she had lied to and stolen from, just to get that next fix. She cried because she thought she had really found a friend in Jeremy. The feeling of being a desperate junkie's scapegoat tore through her insides like white hot shards of glass. She turned her head to the edge of the table and threw up until there was no more pain.

"Jeremy lied to you," she croaked.

A soft chuckle escaped the doctor. "Honestly, who can I trust in this place? You're all liars."

"But I'm telling the truth. I have no connections to smuggle heroin in here," she stated, a soft pleading undertone in her words.

"Camryn, you tried to kill your mother yesterday. That's not normal behaviour," he scolded.

"I'm a Mercer. I was angry. That's what we do!" she cried.

"I'm afraid I have no one to trust but myself. And I have to punish you."

"How? By binding me to a fucking exam table?" she spat.

"No. By forcing you to take all the drugs you thought you could hide."

Her eyes widened in justifiable terror. "But that could kill me!"

"It won't kill you, only make you wish I had. The shock to your system will be worse than anything you will ever know. But hopefully it will work." He padded softly to the bedside and held up a loaded syringe. "You'll find it has been cooked to perfection."

He jabbed the needle into her arm and pushed the drugs into her system. It entered her bloodstream with warmth she had almost forgotten but immediately recognized. Her body relaxed on the table and her eyes closed in ecstasy. '_This isn't terrible. No shock. Just pure, unbridled pleasure,' _she thought as a wide smile took over her face and she made herself comfortable. _'When I get out of here though, I am going to beat the ever living fuck out of Jeremy. Or maybe thank him for giving me free heroin.' _The doctor saw the joy on her face and grinned his own sick grin of pleasure. He pushed another dose into her system, which made her open one eye in curiosity. The doctor shivered at the overwhelming colour of her eyes. Her pupils had constricted to pinpricks in her eyes, giving her an almost alien quality and forcing him to look away.

"This is supposed to hurt me?" she challenged. "I feel fantastic!"

"I'm just getting warmed up Camryn. Wait until you come down," he sighed, injecting her again.

The second dose was kinder to her system and she shivered as her eyes rolled back into her head. "Hit me again Doc," she moaned, trying to curl into a ball on the table.

"Not yet," he warned. "I don't want to kill you. I'll leave you with that and be back for you in half an hour."

Her eyes were completely closed now, but she shrugged and turned her head to face him as if she could see him. The image sent a slick, cold, lump down his throat as he walked out of the room. She lay on the table, head lolling around as the drugs began to hit her. It would be a long way down for her, being unable to react to the things she would go through. Camryn would see things with unnatural alertness, feel things with painful vulnerability and hear things that probably didn't exist. But he didn't care. She was scum and she compromised the integrity of the centre. For that, she needed to be punished. She would learn her lesson, unlike Jeremy had failed to so many times before her. With a sigh, he ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair and made his way back to his office.

---

The doctor had been in and out of the room four times before she had all the heroine in her system. He had been teasing her, only briefly, by letting her begin the descent off the roller coaster, but he rescued her each time. But this time, through her opiate haze, she knew he wasn't come back to save her. She would crash, and no one would be there to catch her. How long would he leave her on the table after she was sober? A day? Two days? Forever? She began to panic and her head whipped from side to side, calculating an escape she could never make. There was a window in the corner of the room, no bigger than a shoe box. _'Am I withered enough to squeeze through there?' _she asked herself, studying the glass. Her wrists burned from the friction of the leather cuffs holding her to the table. More calculating to determine if she could manoeuvre in such a way that she could chew through her bonds. More failed logic. For the time being, she was stuck with her own apprehension. Wendy had gone through this once, coming down from a high, bound to a bed. But it had happened because the guy she was having sex with, forgot where the keys to the handcuffs were, 'stepped out' for a drink and forgot to come back and get her. Camryn had taunted her for weeks. Now she was in the same position.

Movement in the corner of the room caught her eye and she jerked her head to catch a full glimpse of it. She blinked, unsure if what she was seeing was real. Steely grey eyes gazed back at her, taking in her position. Caramel fur fluffed out from the animal's body, while the paws and tip of the tail were a marshmallow white. The cat meowed and licked its nose, which Camryn now noticed was half black. She blinked again and licked her lips. _'Where the fuck did this cat come from? And why did I not hear or see it until now?' _She demanded. The cat padded over to the table, its body lithe and sturdy like that of a cat that spends its days chasing mice in a field. _'Purely for sport though. I don't much like the way the furry bastards go down. Too many bones,' _the cat's eyes revealed. Camryn peered over the edge of the table, watching as the cat licked its paw and began cleaning itself.

"Who are you?" she asked the cat, fully expecting an answer.

It looked up at her, as if that would answer everything.

Her eyes narrowed. "I asked you a question."

The cat's eyes changed from grey to blue. She gasped and tried to reach out to the cat.

"My dad had the same colour eyes as you, ya know," she stated. "Well…I think he did. I never really met my dad. He died when I was just a baby."

It meowed, this time a low, mournful meow that emitted more pain than she realized she had ever felt at the loss of her father. In the meow, she heard it ask if she missed him.

"I miss him everyday I can think to remember him. My mom seems to have gotten over him with no problem what so ever," she scowled, rolling on to her back.

The cat hopped onto the table with her, purring loudly. It nuzzled her neck and made itself comfortable.

"You purr louder than my Uncle Bobby snores," she remarked. "And I don't even know if you're real."

In response to her comment, the cat bit her forearm, and she tried to swat at it, but her bindings saved the cat from harm.

"I didn't ask for proof, you asshole. It still doesn't make you real. This is just…an interlude I guess. The real fun starts once you leave, I just know it," she sighed.

His meow came from the back of his throat, sadness from another world in the low tone. Tears pricked her eyes. Tears she had forgotten existed. Tears she still hadn't shed at the loss of her father all those years ago. They leaked from her eyes, rolling down the apples of her cheeks and into her unwashed hair. She had never had so much time to think about how much she wished her father were still alive. There were so many questions she could never ask, and answers that she knew she wouldn't get anyway, even if she did ask them. In her seventeen years of living, she had never felt so fatherless. The cat could feel her sorrow in every layer of his body. With a painful yowl, it hopped off the table and darted into the darkest corner of the room. Camryn thrashed on the cold table, trying to twist in the right direction to see those familiar blue eyes of the cat. But her restraints did their job and held her in place. She screamed with powerful frustration and manoeuvred herself into such a position that her wrist reached her mouth. When the warmth of her skin touched her lips, she began to bite and chew, hoping to break free from her bonds. The warm, metallic taste in her mouth should have made her stop. But she was too far gone in her state of despair to realize that the taste signified the presence of blood. She couldn't feel the pain of her teeth cutting through her flesh as she bit deeper and deeper into her wrist.

"Camryn! STOP!" a deep voice bellowed.

She looked up into the stranger's eyes, tears streaming down her face and blood smeared around her mouth. "Daddy?" she whispered.

Jack's eyes fogged over with anguish at the sight of his ragged and savage daughter. "Camryn, what are you doing to yourself?"

"I…"She faltered briefly as she broke down and began to sob. "I just want to be right again."

He pushed her hair behind her ears and wiped her mouth clean with a white cloth he pulled from his pocket. "Cammy baby, chewing your hand off won't make that happen."

"How did it get this far daddy? They weren't my drugs. Why didn't they listen to me?" she cried, collapsing onto the table, ignoring her bleeding wrist. "I thought Jeremy was my friend."

Jack has no response for her. Nothing that would make her feel better. "You're going to beat this habit Cammy. And you're going to live a great life. You've grown into a beautiful young woman."

She snorted, wiping her nose with the back of her clean hand. "I'm strapped to a table, covered in blood and full of heroin. There's nothing beautiful about me."

"You-Camryn, you need to fight harder than this," he said, busying himself with cleaning her wrist.

"I think I should just give up. I have nothing to go back to once I'm done here."

"Don't you dare say that. You have an entire life to live once you're done here. Go to school, move away and have a family. If anything, fight so you can beat the fuck out of Jeremy for turning his back on you," he demanded.

"Are you really here dad?" she asked softly.

There was no answer and when Camryn opened her eyes to look at her father, she was heartbroken to find the room empty. More tears spilled down her face and she slammed her fist against the surface of the table. _'Of course he isn't really here stupid. He's dead,' _she chastised. But when she looked down at her wrist, she saw a white cloth tied around it to quell the bleeding. And suddenly she was laughing. Not the insane laughter she had grown accustomed to in recent years. But real laughter fuelled by a happy moment or a particularly fond memory of someone. Maybe he really had been there after all, watching over her.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Yeah. I'm a terrible updater. I'm not even going to excuse myself this time. I was hit with mad writer's block and then...I just forgot about my writing. Alright so I guess I did excuse myself a bit. But mostly I will let this chapter do the excusing for me, if it's any good. Must have some level of greatness if I'm posting it. As for what happens at the end well...come on. Let's be honest. It was long in the works._

**Chapter Nine: Dosed**

She sat in the common room, staring out the window. A fresh white bandage adorned her savaged wrist. A pair of leather straps decorated both joints and her ankles were also engaged in the suffocating embrace. After trying to chew her hand off, the doctor's had decided that being restrained in a wheelchair was best for her safety and everyone else's. They'd also agreed among themselves to keep her mildly sedated, avoiding a further episode. So now she sat, calmly in her chair, watching everyone outside the hospital live their uninhibited lives. They saw whomever they chose and went wherever they wanted, rubbing their freedom in her tired face. But she couldn't complain too much; it was the first time they'd let her out of solitary since she'd attacked herself.

"Anything exciting happening out there?" a familiar voice inquired.

Camryn turned her neck, eerily slowly, to face the person who'd addressed her. Staring into those storm cloud grey eyes filled her with rage so hot she began to sweat. He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, moving his weight from one foot to the other while he rubbed his forearm. After acknowledging his presence, she returned her gaze to the people outside. It was all her body had the strength to do, while her mind was screaming with unfulfilled fury. She wanted revenge for what he had done to her.

"You're lucky I'm strapped down and sedated Jeremy," she croaked, her voice out of practice after being silent for so long.

"I didn't have a choice Camryn," he stated, a meek defence considering what he'd done.

She snorted. "Leave me the fuck alone, or I'll live up to my fake threat and kill you."

"Camryn please," he whimpered.

She turned back to him; eyelids drooping over eyes alight with anger. "You sold me out Jeremy. You lied because…I don't know. Why did you do it?"

"I couldn't do it again. The table…that room. It's all just so hopeless once you're in there," he whispered. "They just leave you in there, left alone to your own doped out thoughts with absolutely nothing to do."

Camryn smiled suddenly. "There was a cat in the room with me. An orange tabby with white paws and a half black nose."

Jeremy shook his head. "No, Cam. That was just-"

"I'm not done asshole," she spat. "And my name is Camryn."

"Sorry Camryn," he mumbled, head hung low in shame.

"He came up to the table and nuzzled me while I thought about how much I miss my dad. They had the same eyes," she explained, looking down at her bandaged wrist. "When I started to cry, the cat ran away."

"Why are you telling me this Camryn?" he inquired.

"When they put you in that room, strapped you to that table and pumped you full of whatever drug you go caught with, what did you do to try and get away from it?" she asked.

"I don't-what do you mean?"

"Don't lie to me. You threw my sanity to the fucking wolves to cover your ass. WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?" she demanded, eyes suddenly full of tears. "Did you do anything?"

He let out a long breath as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I cried at first. Not little tears that guys pretend are something in their eyes in order to protect their coolness. Sobs you can feel in the core of your body, and can't really describe with words. They had me strapped down to that table so tightly; all I could do was claw at my thighs until they bled."

"You scratched yourself a little? Shed a little blood?" she cooed.

"Don't patronize me Camryn. You don't know what I went through in that room," he growled.

"I was strapped to that table too, Jeremy. Probably just as tightly as you were. And you know what _I_ did to try to get away? Do you know, Jeremy?" she spat.

He shook his head. "This is the first time I've been allowed to see you, and they wouldn't tell me anything."

She leaned towards him, lifting her bandaged wrist as high as the restraint would allow. "I tried to chew my own fucking hand off, because I couldn't reach the leather cuff holding me down. So don't tell me I don't know what it's like."

"I um…what stopped you?" he asked.

"What?"

"From chewing all the way through. What made you stop biting through your wrist?" he repeated. "Because you sounded pretty committed."

She stared at him, eyes wide open now. The perfect blue orbs were full of nothing but sub-zero coldness for him and a pain for someone he could only assume was her father. He matched her steely gaze. Refusing to back down, Jeremy waited for her answer. But Camryn didn't give him one. She watched him sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose with quiet frustration. His uneasiness made her equally uncomfortable. It was obvious that he expected a certain answer, one he could identify with. The waiting game suddenly became interesting, but she didn't want to play anymore. She wanted to know exactly what Jeremy was thinking. So she reached out and took his hand in hers. The gesture surprised him. He looked down at her hand and them back up at her.

"My father. He yelled at me and told me to tough it out," she whispered. "He bandaged my wrist and then he was gone."

"He bandaged you up?" he breathed, tears suddenly in his eyes.

She nodded. "After telling me to get through so I could kick the shit out of you."

Jeremy laughed and wiped his face with the heel of his hand. "I'm kinda glad you're tied to that chair."

"It wouldn't stop me if I really wanted to," she explained.

"Well when I first sat down, you wanted to. Why did you change your mind?" he questioned.

"I know your mom was in that room with you. She's the reason you're still here Jeremy," she whispered.

Before Jeremy could respond, Dr. Ellins spoke from behind them. "Isn't this a nice sight? Are you two making amends?"

"I'd like to be moved back to my room Dr. Ellins," Camryn requested, puffing out her lower lip.

He chuckled. "Yes of course you would. It would seem you two have patched things up. What do you say Jeremy? Do you forgive her?"

Jeremy avoided Camryn's gaze, but he squeezed her hand confidently and made a mental note to beg for her forgiveness. "Water under the bridge doc."

"Then I don't see why not. You'll have to be monitored of course. Standard procedure after an…incident like yours," he conceded, gesturing to Camryn's wrist.

"I understand," she stated with a curt nod.

"I supposed you'd like out of the chair as well?"

"That would be ideal. My legs are starting to atrophy," she replied.

He smiled. "It's safe to say you've learned your lesson, haven't you?"

She rubbed her wrists as he freed her from her binds. "No more drugs in rehab. Got it."

Jeremy watched as Dr. Ellins wheeled the chair from the room, leaving the two of them alone again. He observed her, checking to make sure she was serious when she said she'd changed her mind about killing him. But all she did was stare out the window, rubbing her wrists as an afterthought. They stayed in silence for ten minutes, one too afraid to approach the unleashed other. When Camryn finally turned around, Jeremy could see pain laced under the tears in her eyes. He stepped back, startled and confused. Her emotions had never gotten the best of her in front of him before. For a brief moment, he was at a loss for what to say. She didn't give him a chance to speak the words he finally found, because she darted from the room with alarming speed. When he found her, she was under a stairwell with her knees pulled close to her chest. Jeremy slid down next to her, wrapping his arm around her quivering shoulders. Her head lulled onto his shoulder.

"Cam, I'm sorry you had to get mixed up with my bullshit," he sighed, stroking her limp locks. "I should have put you at a distance the second I saw you in my room."

"It's our room," she sniffled, wiping her nose. "Why would you have done that though?"

"To protect you from me," he confessed. "Someone like you can't be saved by someone like me."

"Are we really that different?"

He blinked back tears of his own. "You know nothing about who I am Cam. I'm a bad, bad person. Just look at what I did to you."

She lifted her head to look at him. "I tried to strangle my mom for trying to form some semblance of comfort in her life, because my dad was killed and I'm a junkie."

"So we both have our flaws," he chuckled. "So you forgive your mom for marrying your uncle?"

"I don't think they married for love. I think they married for normalcy. Neither one of them has had the best go in life. I'm pretty sure it's just companionship for both of them," she sighed. "My mom is too in love with my dad to ever move on."

"My mom and dad were like that. When she died, my dad disappeared and left a really angry, violent man in his place. I think it's most of the reason why I turned out the way that I did. Drugs were the best way to forget about how much my life sucked, and they were an easy solution to help me cope," he admitted.

"So then why do you need to protect me from you? Are you violent like him?" she inquired.

"No. I don't have a temper. I think living around all that anger gave me a resolve never to end up like that. The drugs never really made me violent or mean. They just made me…alive and aware of everything. Almost clairvoyant at times," he sighed, rubbing his eyes. "But just because I lack hate, doesn't make me a good person."

Camryn studied his face, realizing for the first time, just how tired and ragged his features were. She reached up and touched his cheek, rubbing it with the pad of her thumb. She smiled, feeling shyness towards him for the first time since they met. The difference this time being that they'd grown closer over the short period of time she'd been rehabilitating herself. Maybe the strained semblance of friendship that they shared gave her the courage to lean forward and place her lips against his in a whisper of a kiss. Or maybe it was because they were both in a vulnerable place in their lives. Whatever it was, the two outcasts found themselves in a rare comforting embrace under the stairs of the rehab centre.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: It's LONG. I'm not overly sure how I feel about it, but I figured I'd post it up for you guys...if you're still out there!_

* * *

**CHAPTER TEN: OUR INFINITE STRUGGLE**

Jack had had enough. He punched a fist into the reflective surface of the water. The image immediately melted into the water, leaving a transparent shimmer in its place. Candice flinched and brought her hands up. Ava yawned yet again. The elder red-head sighed as Jack marched up to the only window in the room. The middle-aged brunette half expected him to put his arm through it. But the younger blonde just stared silently out at the clouds. His lack of outburst shocked both women to the point they felt need to mention it.

"No fireworks?" Ava inquired.

"Yeah the punch is usually the opening act, not the headliner," Candice remarked.

Jack sighed, back facing them. "I'm just tired of watching her throw her life away."

"But she's there, trying to get help," Candice stated, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"She wouldn't need so much help if I'd been there for her in the first place," he whispered, shrugged her off.

Ava smiled. "Do you know why you're here Jack?"

He scoffed. "Because I'm a moron who doesn't recognize ambush from argument?"

"No not HERE. Here. As in, with Candice and I, in this room. Do you know why you get to watch over your loved ones while everyone else has to forget theirs?" she asked.

Jack shook his head. "No but I have a feeling you're about to enlighten me."

"Nobody likes a smartass," she scolded. "Jack, you're here because sometimes He makes a mistake and the wrong person dies. Obviously, He can't give you your life back, because it would cause quite the commotion down there. But he can let you go back and visit from time to time. A vacation if you will."

"Being an angel, you mean?" she nodded. "But we're not allowed to leave this place."

"Not until you can be trusted not to screw around. Jack, being a guardian angel is as close as you'll ever come to getting back to see your family. It's not just going to get handed out to everyone like Hallowe'en candy," Ava explained.

Jack frowned as the conversation caught up with him. "Are you saying that I wasn't supposed to die? I could have been with my wife and lived happily ever after?"

"Fireworks," Candice muttered.

Ava pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes and no, Jack. You weren't supposed to die that day, that's true. But it doesn't mean you'd still be alive right now."

Combing his fingers through his hair, Jack began to pace. He blew out a long breath before speaking. "This is-this is a lot to process, actually."

Candice chuckled. "I guess that's why they don't tell you at orientation."

"Enough on your mind already," he agreed with a low chortle. "How did-well, what brought you two here?"

"Stabbed to death," Ava replied.

"What?" Jack bellowed, eyes wide in terror.

"Thomas and I were caught in some bad wind. Our car spun out of control, hit a tree and…a branch cam through the windshield and punctured my heart," she revealed.

"You were IMPALED?" he questioned, clearly awed by the story.

"Stabbed to death," Ava repeated.

"By a tree," he snickered.

Ava huffed. "You walked into an obvious trap."

That shut him up. "Candice? What happened to you?"

"Oh uh…well I was um…that is…" The answer seemed to elude vocalization.

"Spit it out!" Ava barked, startling the younger woman.

"Relax woman," Jack hissed, motioning towards the fidgeting angel.

Candice wrung her hands, avoiding Jack and Ava's gaze. "It's not a good story."

"Can't be worse than Ava's-or MINE," he added after catching Ava's glare.

"Not stupid bad. Tragic bad," she confessed.

"All death is tragic," Jack stated, earning a jab in the ribs from Ava. "Ow! Well it's true."

"You're right Jack. But some actually get classified that way," Candice snapped.

Jack's shoulders slumped in shame. "I'm sorry. I generalized."

"I was beaten by someone I trusted. And I tried so hard to make it stop. I'd never fought harder in my life. But he was bigger and stronger than me," she sighed, eyes unfocused and arms hugging her frame.

"Was it your husband?"

She shook her head. "No. My husband's brother."

"Well that's an awkward conversation to have at Christmas dinner," Ava stated. "Did your husband ever find out?"

"Oh I'd imagine so. Nothing really ever got by Lucas. He used to be really observant."

"Used to be?" Jack repeated.

"After I died, he started to block everything out. He became very angry. Probably why Jeremy wound up the way he did," Candice explained, rubbing her eyes. "If I'd been there for him…well."

Jack nodded absently, trying to piece stories and past information together. He and Candice had lost their chance to raise their children, because of a clerical error. Ava it seemed, had died from a natural disaster. Yet there she stood, chewing the corner of her lower lip, glancing in his direction every now and then. The way she bit her bottom lip reminded him of Lauren and before he could stop himself, he was smiling. It had always been something he loved and hated about his wife. In spite of himself, Jack walked up to Ava and placed the pad of his thumb on her lip. She looked up at him, confusion painting her eyes a haunting shade of green. Jack stumbled back as if she'd slapped him in the face. All of Ava's puzzle pieces had fallen into place with that gaze and he kicked himself for not catching it seventeen years ago.

"Holy shit," he breathed. "You're her mom."

Ava's brow furrowed as she frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"That's why you got so defensive when I said all those things about her. Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded.

"I have no clue who you're talking about Jack. You need to calm down," she urged, her discomfort filling the room.

Jack shook his head. "I'm not doing anything you say until you tell me the truth. I should have seen it on day one but I wasn't even paying attention."

"That's enough, Jack," Ava warned.

"Tell me!" he bellowed, grabbing her upper arms.

Candice rushed up to the pair, trying to pull Jack back. "Jack, what are-"

"Lauren is her daughter," Jack spat. "Isn't she?"

With more strength than Jack gave her credit for, Ava shoved him back. He flew across the room, his back hitting the wall. Out of breath, Jack crumpled into a heap on the smooth white floor. When he managed to open his eyes, a tear blurred Ava was standing over him. A familiar fury burned in her eyes. She reached down, grabbed two fistfuls of his shirt and hauled him up to eye level. There was no denying now that she was the mother his wife had longed to know.

"Don't you EVER put your hands on me like that again. Understand?" she snarled.

Jack nodded, finally catching his breath. "Why won't you just tell me she's yours? You have the same green eyes, the same mouth. Aren't you proud of her?"

She released his shirt, tears lining her eyes for the first time in the seventeen years he'd known her. Instead of heeding her warning in never touching her again, Jack wrapped his arms around the grieving mother. She fit into his embrace much like Lauren had, but Ava was shorter and rounder. Her tears soaked into his shirt and he winced at all the pain locked inside them. They stung his skin, causing his body to tense. Ava felt this and she pushed him back.

"I've always been proud of Lauren. My mother raised her well," she whispered.

"It's me you aren't fond of, isn't it? I was bad for her," Jack confessed.

"If Lauren thought that she wouldn't have married you. And no Jack. I don't hate how she ended up with you. Thomas and I knew from the moment we saw you that you were the one. The two of you were a perfect compliment to one another and then you made a beautiful daughter together," Ava stated.

"A daughter I never got to know." Were he in a cartoon, a light bulb would have flashed over his head. "And you never got to know Lauren, but I did. That's why you…because of everything she told me about her parents."

Ava nodded. "If someone Camryn had trusted with her most intimate, secret thoughts and feelings about you were suddenly here, would you greet them with open arms?"

"No, actually I wouldn't," he admitted. "Because they might not like me. I'd want them to have their own opinion of me, not hers."

"That's why Thomas and I kept it to ourselves."

"But I've seen old pictures of you, when I made Lauren that photo album. I should have recognized you instantly."

She smiled. "Well the beauty of accidental deaths is that you're too busy worrying about why you died when everything was going right for you. What were you thinking about when you got here?"

"Lauren and Camryn. They were the most important things in the world and I…" There was a wall of tears in the back of his throat, blocking his words. "I should have listened to her. That's why I'm dead."

"No one is more upset about your death than Him. It was a situation He had lost control of."

"What does that mean?"

"Lauren was supposed to be the one on the other side of that door, Jack. Not Victor's man."

"Well then…why wasn't she? What happened that made Him lose control?" Jack inquired.

"In case you haven't noticed, there are two opposing forces in the spiritual world. One is Good and one is Evil. They're always at war with one another. Good is always trying to maintain balance over the world, where as Evil just wants chaos and pain," she explained.

"So…Evil…sent Victor's men to my door instead of Lauren?"

She shook her head. "No no. Evil doesn't have that much sway over events. It can't directly create chaos by adding factors and pieces and things. Victor's men were already on their way to your house."

"Well then I'm confused. If they were coming anyway and would have arrived at the same time, how was Lauren supposed to be at the door?"

"This is where it gets tricky. And I can only say it once, so pay attention." He nodded his understanding. "To Him and Lucifer, we as humans are game pieces. Pawns if you will. We move freely through our lives until it's time for divine intervention."

"Like Dues Ex Machina kind of shit?"

"Kind of like that, yes. How do you know that term?" she asked.

"Lauren taught me," he replied. "Continue."

She smiled. "Good girl. Well anyway, we're on our own until He sees need to step in. When he caught wind of Victor's plans to ambush you and your brothers, He saw His need to intervene and remove you from the scene."

"When did He know about the attack?"

"The night the three of you set up your meeting with Jerry. That's when Victor ordered the hit on you and your brothers. Lauren being up when you got home wasn't coincidence. The plans the two of you made were His idea. He really didn't want you to be there."

"Well why me? Why not Bobby or Angel? Or even Jerry?" he questioned.

"Because He knew they could take care of themselves in that moment. And He knew what you would do if you opened the door. He was right, unfortunately," she answered.

Jack rolled his eyes. "So He wanted me out of the picture because He knows I'm an idiot."

"Not an idiot. Just…passionate," she smiled. "But Jerry was late that day, wasn't he?"

"Yeah he was. I never did find out why," Jack mused.

"Lucifer sent Fowler to his house to ask more questions about the deaths of the two who shot your mother."

"I thought he couldn't just step in like that."

"Well Victor's plans changed at the last minute, also result of Lucifer's intervention. So Victor had Fowler go to Jerry and delay him. No sense shooting the house up without all the targets."

Jack groaned. "This is so confusing to me. Where does Lauren come in?"

"She was at Jerry's to drop Cammy off with Camille. When she saw that Jerry was still there, she knew that your day was pushed back. So she waited there and gave the meeting the amount of time the two of you had discussed the night before," Ava finished. "By the time He realized what Lucifer had done, it was too late to fix it."

More pieces fell into place for Jack. After spending the last seventeen years beating himself up for walking into Victor's trap, he finally knew that it wasn't his fault. It also made him think that maybe everyone who'd been with him that day was beating themselves up over much of the same things. Jerry, for answering Fowler's questions. Bobby, for being too hot headed to notice his little brother's absence. Angel for being powerless to control Bobby's anger. Sofi for not calling 911 sooner. And Lauren for not going to the house when she was supposed to. All of them had something weighing on them for all those years and Jack was the only one who'd received his closure. The whole thing had truly been out of their hands. He blinked to control the rush of tears in his eyes but it was useless.

"They should know it wasn't their fault. All of them," he croaked.

A sad smile spread across Ava's face. "If you could hardly understand it, and you're actually here, how much of it do you think they'll get?"

"Well we should at least try! They shouldn't have this mountain of guilt on their shoulders anymore. Seventeen years is long enough," he protested.

"They won't understand Jack. I've tried," Candice whispered.

"Maybe your family didn't. But mine will. Especially Lauren. She's always believed in something greater than herself," he stated.

"Beliefs are only that. It's a completely different thing when something confirms them. You can't just appear after all this time and expect her to hold a normal conversation with you," Ava explained. "She won't believe it's a reality. It will be written off as a really strange dream."

"This is complete bullshit. You know that don't you?" he seethed. "I don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. I'm going down there to tell my wife that my death is not her fault."

"She's not your wife anymore Jack. She's Bobby's wife now. Let him take care of her."

"Fuck that and fuck you for saying it. I don't care if she's got a different ring on her finger. Lauren will always be MY wife!" he roared, storming from the room.

"Aren't you going to go after him?" Candice asked. "This is going to crush him."

"He needs to learn, just like we did," Ava replied.

"But it will break his heart when he sees Lauren in her new life, getting by without him. And it will kill him when she cowers in fear when he shows up," Candice argued.

"Then I guess it's a good thing he's already dead," Ava sighed, walking away.


End file.
